The singer-songwriter is up for a best new artist Grammy at the age of 38, having broken a cycle of jail time and drug use. He explains his newfound joy – and survivor’s guilt

Whenever Jelly Roll returns from touring, he falls into a depressed state. For a long time he couldn’t figure out why. The rapper turned country singer had written it off as an adrenaline dump; his body getting back to normal after long stretches of wild highs. But recently, he made a breakthrough with his therapist.

“Tour is about the only time that I’ve ever felt valuable in my life,” he says, speaking over Zoom from his home in Nashville, Tennessee. This big man, who spent years of his youth in prison, “felt like I brought no value to any situation; that I’ve only taken away. That I take up too much space.” When he performs he feels as though he’s giving something back. “Now I’m learning to find value when I’m not on stage, because that’s the real test.”

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